SUNRISE, SUNSET...SWIFTLY FLOW THE YEARS

So lately I've been having that song from Fiddler on the Roof going through my head. You know the one... "Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don't remember growing older......when did they?"

Yeah. I'm not liking this kids getting older stuff. I came home last night from something at church and I swear Tessa had grown like 6 inches. She just seemed so big.

And Bethany...Bethany outgrew her church shoes a month or so ago and we haven't been to the valley to buy more so what did she do this Sunday? She wore mine. They were only a size or so big for her. um what?

And Kamron...Kamron is actually keeping his room clean without me asking...AND- he's a webelos scout. Next thing you know he'll get his Eagle and then he'll be driving and then he'll be on his mission. YIKES!

Let me make this very clear. I WANT THIS ALL TO STOP. NOW! Normally when I say that it works. It's not working right now. I must resort to other measures. I'll talk to KC tonight about locking my kids in their rooms for a year or 2... LOL!

I’d like to share with you a poem I wrote today for Tessa. It combines the urgency I feel to teach my children about the things they need to know but also the reluctance I feel in letting them grow up. I hope you like it.

My Dearest Tessa Marae;

If I could keep you small I would.
I’d cradle you with tender care.
Your baby nails would never grow.
We’d never leave this rocking chair.

If I could keep you small I would.
I’d wrap you tight in blankets snug.
I’d stare into your eyes all day.
We’d be each other’s cuddle bugs.

If I could keep you small I would.
Your baby scent would never leave.
You’d be my world, and I’d be yours.
A happiness some ne’er achieve.

If I could keep you small I would.
Your little voice would stay so sweet
Your heart so pure, your love so true
Your smile, a warm and blessed treat.

But you must grow – it’s awfully true.
I cannot stop our Father’s Plan.
You must grow big. You must be strong.
I must do everything I can.

To help prepare and teach you
All the ways that you must go.
It will be hard - but I’ll be here.
Don’t cry right now. You’ve time to grow.

Right now I think we’ll stay right here.
And rock and sing and coo and smile.
I know I cannot keep you small, but
We still have a little while.

Love, Mommy

I challenge each of you moms out there to find just a moment today to stop. I listened to a speaker last night at the American Mother's Meeting who spoke on what she thought about the quote "Wherever you are.... Just be there." She spoke about her sister who, to fight her frustration of sleepless nights with her new baby would take that time in the middle of the night to pray for that child. Amazing. Feeding a baby in the middle of the night and praying for that child. She continued the habit on as her kids grew older and became teenagers and she was up at night worrying about them. She'd sit in her home waiting for them to come home and she'd pray for them.

Sooo.. stop today. Just for a minute. Stop thinking about dinner and the carpool and the field trip next week and your church lesson on Sunday and all the other things that we have to worry about. Just stop. And figure out where you are and be there. I know it's not natural, because as women and mothers we are planners and worriers and fixers. But take a one minute break today because time goes sooo fast. Speaking of which, I need to get going.

Peace and love to you all!

Mom's Day

I am writing this post at 9PM at night on Mother's Day. After having a lot of time to relax today (because my loving husband did nearly everything today- IE: the kids were up and dressed for church by 7AM and then they served me breakfast in bed - our mother's day and father's day tradition) I thought I'd take a minute and post something very dear to my heart.

I LOVE BEING A MOTHER.

I love it. It is hard. It is painful. It is exhausting. It is heartwrenching. Sometimes it is downright horrible. BUT- and it sounds cliche, I know... I TESTIFY..there is NOTHING more rewarding than being a mother. Nothing.
I specifically want to give a cyberspace high 5 to all of the stay at home mommies out there. Holy crap. This stuff is hard. I have been a stay at home mommy for just over 7 years now. If you haven't done the math, I worked until Kamron was almost 3 and Bethany was 1.5 years old. They both started in daycare when they were 6 wks. old. I was blessed with a wonderful daycare lady, Roxy, who watched my children (and also, conveniently lived across the street from my mom and dad) and I am grateful for her example. I try to be a good daycare mommy like her. For those of you who don't know... We share our home on a daily basis with other people's children, which is sometimes hard. But I am grateful. I am grateful for my job. I thank my Heavenly Father every night for the oppurtunity I have to work and help provide for my family. After having Tessa this winter, I have found a renewed energy and love for my job. These little kids don't care if their mommy's work all day, they just care that wherever they go during the day that they will feel safe and happy and loved. I try to do that for them.

I AM NOT KNOCKING WORKING MOMS, because I know that in this day and age it is hard to make a living sometimes, even with both parents working. I have been on both sides and I am not judging. There are some working moms that can do it all. I could not. There came a time in my life as a working mom that my priorities were all screwed up and after much prayer and worry I quit my job and decided to stay home. The story is way more complicated than that....and some of the details are personal, but I KNOW that had I not followed the promptings I received to quit, although scary as they were....my life and my family's life would be much different now.

Now I am blessed. Beyond description. I will not go into detail about all of the things we had to give up or all of the $$ I used to make. It doesn't matter. Although we have less now, my life is more full. Some of my best friends, Kristina Wright and Virginia Herbst were once teaching a class on parenting and chores and etc. and they ended the class with a handout. It says "Mom, I am the PURPOSE, not the interruption. This has been hanging on my refrigerator for a good 3 or 4 years now. And I swear by it. It is my mantra I repeat to myself when I get frustrated about mommyworld. My children are my purpose in life.

And with that I will end by thanking my loving mother, AKA: my "MOMSTER". We have had our differences in life, as most moms and daughters have, but I am truly grateful to you, MOM, for everything you have taught me and are still teaching me about being a mother. I know you worry about if you did a good job when we were kids and I want you to know you did. Thank you for staying home and putting your career on hold to raise me and nurture me (and making that decision BEFORE the proclamation came out-wow). You taught me how to love children and make everyone around me feel appreciated and significant in life. You taught me that it's okay to forget the pile of laundry and sit down with your kids to read or play a game. You taught me how to teach my children. How to be involved in their education and how to stand up for what I believe is right for them. You taught me the importance of 'me-time' (although you never took enough of it for yourself). You taught me the importance of Family Home Evening and togetherness. You taught me that children are way more capable than anybody thinks they are, and most of them just need to be given the chance to prove it. You taught me how to be fair, while also understanding that everybody needs to be taught and molded differently. I always felt that even though I was just a child I was still a person of great importance whose opinion always mattered. You taught me how to set boundaries and follow through even when it is hard. But most importantly you taught me how to love my little children uncondtionally and to make sure that they know that everyday. And for that I thank you and give tribute to you. I love you. Happy Mother's Day.